Marriage Counseling (Couples Counseling) -

Marriage Counseling or Couples Counseling

by Larry L. French, MA, LPC, LMFT

In marriage counseling the primary focus is on the health of the marriage. For obvious reasons, the health of the individual marriage partners needs to be assessed. It is virtually impossible to have a healthy and happy marriage when one or both of the spouses have unresolved emotional wounds. Sometimes marriage counseling might need to be put on hold until the individuals have had an opportunity to heal.

For a marriage to be a safe harbor for both partners there needs to be a solid commitment to each other. In addition to a whole hearted commitment, trust of one another is absolutely crucial. When trust has been shattered, everything falls apart. There are a number of reasons that commitment and trust are damaged in relationships. An objective of marriage counseling would include building a rock solid foundation on which to build a healthy and satisfying marriage.

Marriage counseling can be rather complex. You’ve got two people, often telling you two different stories, a variety of volatile emotions but wanting things to work out (or not). A marriage counselor must wear a number of hats: listener, teacher, model, mediator, safari guide, translator, motivational speaker, emotional “bomb-diffuser”, confidant, coach, detective and an encourager. A marriage counselor must be an active participant in the counseling process. He or she must know when and where to jump into the conversation to provide balance, safety and direction to the process.

The marriage counselor wants to insure that the key ingredients in a good and loving marriage are alive and well. There needs to be a sense of teamwork. The old saying two heads are better than one. There must be mutual respect for one another. Couples must have open and honest communication. There’s a verse that says “speak the truth with love”. The better a couple is at communicating kindly, honestly and respectfully (with love), the healthier the marriage. Additionally, the awareness of emotional needs and the ability to express these needs is essential. Having a similar value system and expectations for life makes a life journey together much more rewarding. Enjoying each other and being drawn together with common interests reinforce the loving bond.

This description of Marriage Counseling provides a bit of an overview as to what is involved in meeting with a marriage counselor. Now that you know it is a rather complicated and complex process, it is important that you locate a trained and skilled Marriage Counselor. You might meet with several Marriage Counselors in order to find someone with whom you feel comfortable. Our staff approach marriage and couples counseling from a faith based Christian value system. For example, not only do values of treating one another with the upmost respect and communicating in ways to build each other up come from a Christian world view, the most recent research reflects how crucial this is in order to have a healthy relationship.